Having a dog as part of your family unit is trickier to negotiate than you might imagine. If your family reflects the nuclear family model – a mom, a dad, and two kids – it practically goes without saying that there is some kind of pet involved. If you have a cat, a fish, or a rodent of some kind, it is likely that said pet would be perfectly content doing its own thing. However, you do not have a cat, a fish, or a rodent. You have Blackie the Spaniel.
So how do you go about successfully incorporating Blackie into your family’s life, with each and every family member having their own needs, wants, habits, and space? The key to successful cohabitation is respect – and not just for Blackie to respect your family, but for your family to respect Blackie. This mutual respect is the best way to ensure the maximum happiness for each and every family member.
How To Make Sure Blackie Respects You
You are doing a disservice to Blackie if you expect her to respect you without teaching her how. Consistent, clear training is the best way to ensure that Blackie understands the guidelines she is to follow. If, for example, she is not allowed to chew on shoes, but you buy her any shoe shaped toys, the message is unclear which shoes she may chew and which ones she cannot. It is better to buy her a toy she can chew on that mimics a shape of something that doesn’t exist in your home. If she is not supposed to beg at the table, then make sure her mealtimes are consistent in both time and location and that you only feed her in her dish.
Dogs do very well with routines, both learning them and keeping them - but that means that you have to keep them as well. Not only are you responsible for making sure you keep your routines, but you are also responsible for helping Blackie to do so. Things like making sure she gets enough exercise so she is tired and content enough not to be destructive in the house, are essential to helping her respect the rules you lay out for her – she can’t take herself out or feed herself. If you don’t take her out for four hours, and then she pees on your carpet, that’s not her being disrespectful to her, it is, in fact, a lack of respect for her on your part that lead to the accident in the first place.
How To Make Sure You Respect Blackie
It is extremely important that you are aware of Blackie’s needs, wants, and space just as much as she needs to be aware of yours. Her bed and her crate should be kept clean, and never moved about in the house on a whim during a cleaning spree. She needs to know that she has a safe space that she can go that belongs to her where she can be alone if she wants to. Make sure your children know not to poke at her or pull her out of bed or her crate by force.
Similar rules apply when she is eating. She needs to have a mealtime that is safe and uninterrupted, or she is likely to get snappy or anxious about food – neither of which are good traits for a dog to have. Make sure, in fact, that your children know never to pull at her, or push her around like she is some kind of toy. Make it clear to them that she is a member of the family, not a plaything. She is allowed to be tired, anti-social, and even cranky if she’s feeling it. She doesn’t have to play whenever the kids want to.
Finally, remember that you and Blackie are family. You may have fights or get cranky with each other, but that never ever means that you don’t love each other. Be sure after an incident where mistakes are made and the respect between you is unbalanced that Blackie is shown that she is still a member of your family. If she chews up a shoe, scold her, certainly, so it is clear what she has done wrong. Then you can give her an appropriate toy, a nice long scratch behind the ears, and remind her that she is loved, in addition to being respected.